A Pair of Jokers
by seditionary
Summary: Hotch, Reid and Morgan are on a long drive and need to stop for the night. Hotch discovers something he's not sure he wanted to know about his two special agents. Slash, naughty goings-on.


**A/N: This is just a humorous and smutty one-shot with Reid and Morgan in an established relationship. No reference to any particular episode. Warnings: Language and explicit slashy goings-on, voyeurism... Enjoy! Oh, and reviews are greatly appreciated, thank you!**

**Seds**

*********

The rental car hurtled through the night like a shot. Morgan, Reid and Hotch had been taking turns driving since early afternoon, and now--at two o'clock in the morning--all three were exhausted. Morgan was in the passenger seat, keeping a fixed, psychotic stare on the bug-spattered windshield. Reid, sitting in back, uncharacteristically hadn't said a word for miles. Hotch was at the wheel; he could see his road-weary agents weren't doing so well.

"We need a break," Hotch pronounced. "Let's stop at the next place and get rooms. We can sleep a few hours and then get back on the road first thing in the morning."

"Sounds good to me. I'm sick of being in this car." Morgan's voice was gravelly.

"I'll second that," Reid piped up.

"All right. Looks like we're coming up on a populated area."

They came to a busy intersection of the highway, which was marked with numerous signs advertising food and lodging. Hotch picked a budget priced hotel and stopped the car at the front entrance. All three ambled in, bags in hand. A bell had been left on the counter to summon the clerk and Hotch pressed the ringer a few times. A man emerged from the back.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Yes. We need three rooms, please."

The man gave him a dubious look, then turned to his computer. He tapped the keys and frowned.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, bad news. I only have one room with one queen sized bed left. Although, it has a couch, too." He looked over at the three. "What do you say?"

Hotch shook his head wearily and glanced at Reid and Morgan. "What do you think? We can try another place."

"I doubt you'll have better luck," the clerk said. "There's a cheerleading convention in town, and everybody's just about to capacity."

"Cheerleading convention?" Reid asked, puzzled. "Is that actually what it sounds like?" He looked at Morgan, who smirked.

"Hundreds of squealing teenage girls in short skirts, Reid."

"I see." He nodded.

"Guys, one of you can have the bed, the other the couch, and I'll sleep on the floor. I don't mind, I could sleep on a bed of nails at this point."

Morgan and Reid exchanged a glance.

"I don't mind sharing. No need for anybody to end up on the floor," Morgan offered.

"Right, I don't mind sharing, either," Reid agreed.

Hotch looked from one to the other. "Are you sure?"

Morgan and Reid both nodded. Hotch sighed. "Ok, we'll take it."

Hotch took the key and they headed upstairs to the room. They all wearily stripped down to their t-shirts and boxer shorts. Hotch found extra blankets and a pillow in a closet, and settled onto the couch. Reid and Morgan took the bed.

"Good night, guys. Early start in the morning, right?"

"Right," both Morgan and Reid agreed.

Hotch gathered the pillow into a ball, pulled the cover over his shoulders and was soon dead to the world.

Reid and Morgan lay on their backs, both staring at the ceiling. Each had a tingle of anticipation in his gut, and each was using strict self-control not to roll over and grab the other. They were listening, listening to Hotch's breathing. It didn't take long before it slowed and became soothingly rhythmic. Reid looked over at Morgan and spoke in a careful whisper.

"He's asleep."

"No, now, give him a minute. He's not in full REM yet."

"It takes a minimum of forty-five minutes to enter full REM sleep. I'm not waiting that long. Anyway, as long as we're quiet, he won't wake up." Reid sat up and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Reid wriggled out of his boxers.

"Reid, you better be quiet. If you wake that man up while we're--"

"I won't. I can be quiet."

"Oh, yeah? What about that time we were at my mother's house? She had this look on her face when we came downstairs--"

"She thought we were wrestling."

"That's what she said, but she knew better. My mom's not dumb."

"Well, that wasn't my fault. You're the one who snuck into my room."

"Ok, ok. But this is different. You better not yell or cuss or--

"I won't!"

"Shhh! Listen, if you wake him up, I will personally take you over my knee and paddle your behind 'til it's the prettiest shade of red you ever saw."

"I--you will?" Reid asked in surprise.

"Oh, yeah."

"Well, now you've increased the odds that I'm going to wake him up."

"Reid, I swear..." Morgan rolled off the bed and went to his bag, returning with a condom and a bottle of lube. He slipped off his t-shirt and shorts and made the necessary preparations, including taking Reid into his arms and lovingly getting him relaxed and opened up for him. He then had Reid lay back and Morgan knelt between his parted legs, eased in and began rocking into his lover's body with deep, long strokes.

Reid gasped and Morgan stopped and put his hand over his mouth. "Shh."

"Ok."

Morgan resumed and Reid met his downward thrusts with desperate upward thrusts of his own.

"Harder," he pleaded.

"No. Let's take it slow and easy for a change. Quieter that way."

"Derek--" Reid whined.

"I swear I'll pull out right now if you don't hush."

Reid pouted but became quiet. Eventually the slow, even strokes began to feel incredibly good, and Morgan began pumping Reid's member, soon bringing him to orgasm. Reid moaned low in his throat but managed to stay quiet, and Morgan smiled down at him.

"That's a good boy."

"Oh, Derek..."

Morgan kissed him and wound himself as closely around him as he could, burying his face in his neck, taking in his scent, his warmth, the feel of his silky flesh. He then pulled back, supporting himself on outstretched arms, and began driving into him with short, rapid strokes.

Which was just about the moment at which Hotch stirred awake.

He had become vaguely aware of movement in the direction of the bed, but in the haze of sleep had dismissed it as restlessness on the part of one of his agents. It was the choked cry that made him open his eyes. The parking lot light directly outside their window shone onto the bed, illuminating a sight that made Hotch almost exclaim in shock.

His two special agents were furiously copulating on the queen-sized hotel bed. His first impulse was to yell at them, just as he had when he'd caught a pair of dogs screwing on his front lawn, but it occurred to him that they were two grown men engaged in what was clearly a consensual act, and he forced himself to remain quiet.

The light cast a warm glow on Reid's pale skin. One leg was resting high on Morgan's shoulder, the other was wedged behind Morgan's knee. Hotch could make out Morgan's flexing glut muscles as he pumped into Reid's skinny body, and he could see glimpses of Morgan's glistening manhood slipping in and out like a piston. Reid held on with one hand, and caressed Morgan's neck with the other. They took a moment every now and again to kiss passionately.

Now Hotch could make out whispered words--"Oh, Derek...oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh God!" and "Spencer, that's so good, you're so tight, oh, baby, that's so fucking tight..." followed by guttural gasps and groans as Morgan reached orgasm. Hotch watched transfixed as Reid gradually lowered his legs, pressing his knees against Morgan's waist, and then wrapped his arms around his lover's neck as Morgan kissed him deeply.

"That was so good, baby, so good. You're my baby boy, you know that?"

"I love you, Derek," he heard Reid gasp.

"I love you too, Spence. Love you." Morgan rolled over onto his back and Reid scooted over to lay on his chest. Morgan slipped an arm around him but cautioned "We can't fall asleep like this, you know."

"But, I want to, you're warm," Reid protested drowsily.

"No. Hotch might wake up and see us."

"Damn it." An audible sigh. "Ok." Reid raised himself to roll away, but Morgan caught his arm. "Here. Put your clothes back on." He handed him shorts and a t-shirt and they both reluctantly got dressed before taking their places on opposite sides of the bed.

"'Night, babe."

"Good night, Derek."

Soon, they were both asleep, leaving Hotch in as confused a state as he'd been in in a long time. He lay back on the couch, reached into his underwear and began slowly stroking himself.

***

Reid woke to his cell phone alarm and sat up, rubbing his eyes before looking around to see Morgan lying next to him. He smiled and started to scoot closer so he could kiss him, but suddenly remembered--they weren't alone. He looked over to the couch and frowned to see that it was empty. Just then, the door opened and Hotch walked in bearing a paper tray with three large coffees in it.

"Good morning, Reid."

"Hey--wow, you brought coffee."

"I figured we'd all need it. How did you sleep?"

"Fine, thanks. You?"

"Just fine." Hotch put down the tray and nudged Morgan with his foot as he passed by on his way to the bathroom. "Coffee's here, Morgan."

"Huh?" Morgan sat up and ran a hand over his face. "Oh. Coffee?"

"Yes." Reid got up and handed him a cup, and took one for himself. They heard the sound of Hotch peeing in the bathroom.

"Well, I guess we pulled it off," Reid said as he took a sip.

"No thanks to you, kiddo. You couldn't keep quiet in the sack to save your life."

Reid stole a quick kiss.

"You weren't any better. At one point, I thought you were going to howl like a wolf."

Morgan snickered. "You kind of bring out the animal in me, it's true." He pulled Reid to him for another kiss but now the sound of water running in the sink told them that Hotch was about to emerge. They broke apart and Morgan stood up, sipping his coffee and nonchalantly looking out the window.

Hotch nodded at him.

"Did you sleep well, Morgan?"

"Oh, yeah, I was exhausted. How'd that couch work out for you?"

"Fine. I can sleep anywhere, through just about anything."

Both Reid and Morgan stared at him for a moment. Hotch smiled.

"Say, Morgan, weren't you wearing the plain black shorts when you went to bed last night? And wasn't Reid wearing the red plaid ones?"

"What? Uh..." Reid felt a rush of butterflies in his stomach.

"Yes, I'm sure of it. Did you boys trade underwear as a joke?"

"Uh--yeah. Ha, just wanted to see how your powers of observation held up after such an exhausting drive!" Morgan laughed, a little too heartily.

"Yeah, funny, huh?" Reid asked, turning away and taking a deep breath.

"Of course. I can see that I'll have to keep my eye on the two of you from now on. I didn't realize that you two were such a pair of...jokers."

Reid and Morgan glanced at one another.

Hotch smiled as he took a sip of coffee.

It would be an interesting drive back to Quantico.


End file.
